Be Inspired… Give from the Heart this season
by Frances Lefkowitz
Presents allow us to express our love and gratitude. Why, then, do we get so stressed out over them, and how can we bring sense and significance back to the season? Though many complain about the commercialism of the holiday season, no one—not even the two-sizes-too-small-hearted Grinch—would wish to get rid of presents.
At its core, the exchange of gifts is a joyous ritual. Those robes, orchids and batches of oatmeal cookies we bestow every year let us acknowledge important relationships and strengthen bonds with friends, family and our community. “To give a gift to someone is to say, ‘I am connected to you, and I know you well enough to know what you like,’” advises M.J. Ryan, author of Attitudes of Gratitude.
Faced with a holiday season that’s too often fraught with chaos, stress, waste and debt, it’s easy to lose track of the pleasure and meaning of giving. But, by remembering what lies at the heart of this singular season and looking afresh at our impulses to give and receive, we can make these days feel more like the spiritual celebrations they were meant to be.
Look for the meaning
One way to bring meaning back to the holidays is to remember that they are holy 
days. “Welcome in the spirit of whatever you’re celebrating, whether it be Christmas, Hanukkah or the solstice,” says Barbara Biziou, author of The Joys of Everyday Ritual and The Joy of Family Rituals. Biziou advocates reviving the family’s traditional ways of celebrating or creating new rituals, such as making ornaments together or cooking a meal for a neighbor or stranger, if the old ones no longer feel meaningful. Instead of obsessing about presents, we can spend this season connecting with people through the sharing of food, warmth and hospitality.
Ryan has found a way to make sure that everyone around her table remembers the holiday’s true meaning: At her dinner, each person takes a turn listening, as the others tell what they appreciate about her or him. “When we feel gratitude for what we have received, we have an experience of fullness,” comments Ryan. “From that fullness, you naturally want to give back. This is true generosity, not obligatory giving. It’s the natural process of recognizing what we have, and then sharing it.”
The good gift
Great pleasure is found in giving—or receiving—just the right gift. Last Christmas, for example, Ryan’s husband gave her a box of 12 envelopes, one for each month; inside each envelope was a picture of one of her favorite flowers that she could then trade in for an actual bouquet. This was a successful present, she explains, because it demonstrated how well her husband knew her—plus, it lasted all year long.
Ultimately, the best gifts are the ones given from the heart, gifts that infuse these rituals with feelings and values. They’re the ones that bring joy to the recipient and the giver—joy to the world. Even the Grinch realized this, right before his heart grew three sizes: “’Maybe Christmas,’ he thought, ‘doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more.’”
Who could argue with Dr. Seuss?
Frances Lefkowitz is an award-winning writer, editor and reviewer whose work is widely published via print and subscription radio.
5 Great Gifts
According to the Center for a New American Dream, 54 percent of 21st century 
Americans surveyed, “feel that spending less money on gifts will allow them to focus on the true meaning of the holidays.” Here are some gift ideas that won’t break the time or money bank.
Personalized cookbook. Give friends recipes for the kinds of food they enjoy. Throughout the year, clip items from magazines and newspapers, and then compile them into a store-bought journal.
Something of your own. Giving away things we love to people we love is always meaningful, whether it’s a family heirloom, a piece of jewelry or a favorite book.
Photographs. Who doesn’t adore a picture of the grandkids, a childhood snapshot of ourselves with our best friend, or a visual memento from last summer’s camping trip? Frame a single photo, put a series in an album, or pick 12 and have them made into a calendar at the photo shop.
Gift of experience. Giving activities—a spa day for two, a wine tasting lesson or sports tickets—brings people together. Concert dates, brunch or a trip to a favorite hiking spot are other good options.
A donation. 
Send a check to someone’s favorite charity in lieu of a gift (make sure it’s their favorite cause, not ours). Or, ask friends if we can join them in their volunteer work.
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